Archive | July, 2014

If it looks like fish, smells like fish, and tastes like fish…

20 Jul

it must be fishy. Verdad? And if it’s a fish cake, should it be cakey? Served on a hamburger bun, bunny? Yet we’ve  been told bunny is supposed to taste chickeny, just like her cold-blooded anicmal friends froggy, alligatory and rattlesnakey?


And if this all sounds mildly insaney that’s because waking hours ’round here pass interpreting the caterwauly requests of a 4 week old and/or re-re-re-re-reading books written for the under 4 set to the nearly 2 tortilla model which makes this blogger’s brain jell-o-y.


So dig this big crux: even with dbl dad duties I managed to corral ingredients for a flippin’ rico patty as salmonly as it is Az-Mexi.

Before heading onto the recipe – and possiblamente the cooking secret of the century – as is my habit, I must clear my head:

Where is the logic in tossing out fishy fish? I mean, if it were gummy or furry or gnawing on your testicles, yeah, fish gotta go.


Whomsoever won’t eat their meat meaty, fish fishy or elk elky can head on over to the latest vegan blog for a Satany seitan dish (conspiracy theory sidebar: veganism no doubt is the work of Satan. Mira, el diablo figures if he can convert Homo sapiens over to not eating and killing animals, well unless the Internet beats them to it, once the rest of animal kingdom friends up on Facebook, they will surely rise up and destroy us all.)


But because as I blogged antes, ‘my idea of seafood is a cow standing in a puddle’ one might pensar I’d be the last person on earth – save the few remaining teetoaling vegans foraging for twigs and loam – to delight in a fishy dish concocted from pungent Puget sound canned pink salmon
(actually from Trader Joe’s, Chicago).

Message to ‘The One’ doubter, in the words of the prophet James Brown, ‘Get Up Offa That Thing” and get up on this:

Stinkin’ Salmony Salmon Green Chile Gringo Fishy Fish Cakes

photo 2

The Innards:

1 can of canned Pink Salmon (skin, bones and all)

1 quarter bag of roasted, peeled, defrosted (duh) NM green chile (in a pinch roast, peel and seed a fresh jalapeno)

1 egg

1 handful binder (I used saltines, flour and bread crumbs will do)

1/3 cup of roasted cut fresh from the cob corn (0r canned)

chopped handful of fresh cilantro, parsley and scallions

salt, pepper, garlic powder to taste

photo 1

Optional toppings: lime, sour cream, crumbly queso blanco, fried egg.

Optional edible delivery vehicles: hamburger bun, english muffin, etc

photo 4


The How To:

Mash together the fishy, stinky mess with your bare hands then form patties. Size does not matter. Fridge till firm. Fire up the grill to medium. Grill 3-5 a side. NOTE: Don’t blame me if the cakes lose their firm grip on the grates and jump to their own fiery death.

Orale, ready for that how about that Cooking Secret of The 21st Century? Glad you reminded me – wait for it –

How to prevent a fish cake freefall through the grill grates.

Option A – My Great Idea:
Add binder. Fine and dandy if you prefer your fish to taste, um, ‘bricky’.


Option B. y mi esposa gets full credit for aqui y ahora: Fry the patties up on a piping hot griddle. No caca, right?

photo 3

You, in the back row with your hand up, pinching your nose, you have a question? How do I compensate for the essential and superb deliciousness of ‘grilly’ness?

Uno word mi amigo: butter.

photo (5)


Anyone who has a beef with ‘buttery’, I say let’s feed ‘that one’ to the salmon.

On ‘The One’ now if you please, JB:


Bye-bye Brazil green chile cheeseburger

13 Jul

Same recipe as last post, this time with ipix:







Futbol Otters, Green Chile Cheeseburger Authors y Anti-Aleman Papa Ensalada

8 Jul

Jim Harrison portrait

Jim Harrison, the great American man of letters, appetites, virtues, humor and heart had a character, in I think ‘The Great Leader’, go on how the otter reaps havoc on the natural world – and to a certain extent Darwin’s hypothesis – with its overevolved, sleek, playful and carefree via del vida. Otters are hyper-adapted, and so perfectly designed that life for the otter is an effortless endeavor – ergo why all that playfulness. Me: if they could speak it’d be in Latin, duh, and all about ‘ludo ergo sum’ (Trans: I play therefore I am).


Who am I to argue with so convincingly articulated an observation not convincingly articulated by yo, here. No yo tengo the diction nor tiempo to sit around and go from otter to pad and pen to navel to wine jug and back to otter. Deep profound Animal Planet contemplation by gauzy light of a Coleman lantern is for those without newborns and Fifa addictions.


Though cogito this: If the World Cup had an otter it’s Neymar whose spikes, if they could talk – in Portugeuse, deserto – would be like ‘oh yeah, u need a goal, I got that. Now can we get back to your pelt and frolic with fans please.’ And if American letters has a green chile cheeseburger it’s Jim Harrison: lusty, charred, macho, ribald, white.

pigeon-hellor-292x300Thus quoteth The Pigeon, ‘hubba-wha?’

Mira, for 7/4/14 I grilled a green chile burger as good as or better than anything I’ve ever eaten in the dozen or so heralded NM green chile cheese burger Meccas. Por que the verde y amarillo reminded me of Brazil’s kits who w/out Neymar (or Silva) need all the support we can muster and because it was I-Day USA 2014 and while the German’s could not be deported or droned and my America includes everyone but cumin I added a side of potato salad which complimented the heat from the chile and beef char and holy shit I forgot to photograph the beast before inhalation. Ugh. Here’s the recipe for shits and giggles and Brazil anyway:

The Otter of Green Chile Cheeseburgers: simple, effortless and at the top of any food chain:

Ground beef
garlic salt
fresh, roasted, peeled sealed, defrosted NM Green Chile chopped and lightly salted
Shredded store-brand sharp cheddar cheese

Grill to your liking on side one, flip, top side two with green then cheese. Bun. Inhale. Goes good with Fifa and/or frolic.


Three potatoes – diced, boiled, skin-on
⅓ white onion – diced
handful of fresh parsley – chopped
mixed into ¼ Cup mayo, splashes of Worshcestshire sauce, red wine vinegar, olive oil, squeeze of lemon, salt and pepper and garlic salt shakes, splurt of French’s yellow mustard, drop of Maille Djon Mustard Originalle and Roland Dijon Mustard grained with wine.

Some dude from Franz Ferdinand singing about otters:


Top Chicago Taco #6: El Piojo Pollo asado con faux-mole y sweat

3 Jul

Q 1: wouldn’t it be something if in our charts and stats mad mad mad mad World Cup world some mad mad mad mad statistician concocted a formula for measuring the statistical significance of match sweat?

A 1: No, you are right, that would be gross and has no place on a food blog.

Q 2: What can I blog but deranged contemplations under the influence of binge Fifa viewing and/or the sleep deprivation dementia which accompanies the arrival of a new son? (Hola El Niño dos, welcome to week two on el mundo and El Cupo Del Mundo 2014.)

A 2: Mas mad mad mad mad pensars, at once deeply profound and slightly culturally insensitive, por ejemplo:

1. It is not against Fifa rules to field a rhinoceros aka the The Belgian Lukaku


2. Now that the White House has made it a personal GOOOAAAALLLL to kick out some 100K Mexican/South/Central American immigrant children, come World Cup 2018 when faced with any opponent south of The Border Wall Team USA's fans will take to chanting 'Give us back our Latinos'

Get it? No? Then bone up on yer NED bike history with this here good book before reading any further:


3. NED Team Oranje’s Arjen Robben’s pre-match playlist:

Q 3: Doesn’t all this pensando make you hungry? Sweaty?

A 3: No, but eating this brilliant taco honoring the madness of El Tri’s El Rey El Piojo did/will/do:


Marinade boneless chicken breast overnight in this faux-mole:
1/4 cup olive oil
Tsp/tbsp chipotle powder
Tsp garlic powder
Tequila shot
Lime squeeze
Pinches of cocoa powder y cinnamon y Mexican oregano y allspice
Salt and pepper enough to taste

Grill @ 450 5 minutes per side
Cover w/foil, set aside for 5 minutes

Warm up corn torts on dry, hot skillet.

Top chopped pollo con finely diced raw onions y fresh porch garden to mesa cilantro and tu favorito queso blanco.

Photograph, eat, sweat, scream, repeat.