Archive | November, 2014

Outsourcing, Insourcing & Immigration’s Last Hurrah(che)

26 Nov

Outsourcing outcries were once all the rage.

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Then insourcing (aka immigration) became the new black.

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In both instances, seems to me Los Indios were again and again and again to take it on the chin, blamed and lambasted for the colonization, enslavement and/or hiring practices of most likely my proud peeps, The Anglo Saxons.

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Where do I stand on ‘immigration’? Fairly obvious this one: I’m an atheist, holding the fence up for all of my amigos to corne on through. (Recordar: Borders went estomago up, what in 2011?)

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Escuche: Prez O  stumping on about ‘everyone is an immigrant’ kills me almost as effectively as western expansion/Manifest Destiny eradicated, a-hem: NATIVE AMERICANS (duh?) who might actually argue otherwise, El Presidente. And yeah, they vote.

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Mira, here’s the only fair and just way we will ever eradicate immigrants: eradicate immigration. To be fair to both democracy here and the parliamentary process everywhere else the Brits stong-armed the red, black, brown and beige masses into Heinz products and Harry Potter let’s put it to a simple si or no vote.

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This policy of whoever got there first but not really has obviously failed. Also in the interest of fairness, let only the Indians up and down the Americas and from across the pond in India vote (y si, I include Los Mestisos in the final tally).

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The Stakes:

Yes = great everyone stays

No = All non-natives to return to their country of origin immediately or face incarceration (This means you El Presidente O.)

Tambien ASAP. Tambien on Thanksgiving day. Tambien via text. Tambien eating estas:

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 El Dulce Papa Hurrache Sobre El Naan Pan

How to get to that:

1. The yams: soft and mashed

2. The mixed in masala y/o mole to taste:

Canned chipotle sauce – Cinnamon – Nutmeg – Cocoa -Coffee – Salt- Pepper- Brown sugar- Butter – Lech

3. Garlic naan upon which it’s spread

4.Heat till burbling in 350 degree oven

5. Top con onion y zucchini slices seared in dry, red hot skillet

6. Queso blanco crumbles

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Reviews:

‘This is the best thing you’ve ever cooked!’ – Mi Esposa

 ‘Share please.‘ – Me

FYI: Should Black Friday’s Eradicate Immigration Vote 2014 returns return me to my country of origin I’ll be facing hard time. Mira, I was adopted.

My vote for chain gang karaoke?

How happy am I my parsley has a Facebook page?

12 Nov

Amazing times these.

Diga me dudes and doo-dooettes: as a longstanding member of Facebookaholics Anonymous I’ll never know whether parsley might have ever accepted el amigo request para mi, let alone cilantro’s, rosemary’s or basil’s. One thing, that I do know there’s a lot of ruins in Meso-po-tamia uh uh uh uh uh oh uh….sorry but the great B-52s honoring our veterans go boom in me cans ahora…that parsley and some potatoes make the best of amigos, and on this here concocted western plata, besties for real for all time.

Besty Westerny Homey Fryies

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How: In a hot, small skilled unskinned boiled potato chunks fried atop diced onions seared in butter and olive oil seasoned with Jillipepper/garlic/salt/pepper add to this fresh NM green chile (2015) upon which you fry/steam and egg next to a slice of smoked cheddar by putting a couple drops of water in the lid of which you cover the heap with until said egg is cooked beyond its original slimy state: lowered to no heat. Go boom atop with the fresh, chopped (though I prefer mine scissored) Facebook parsley.

 

Hit it Fred:

Mexi-Kim Dog Tacos

1 Nov

Fact: the taco truck spawned with the Intuhnet twin sons of different mothers, not the seminal Dan Fogelberg/Tim Weinberg yacth rock LP but both a ‘food truck nation‘ and this here IFLAG blog. Por que all that is true for our survival as a species anymore – until the Intenet rises up and wipes its butt with the last Will Smith standing – lives long and prospers here….wait for it: for eternity. Think Heaven without the streets paved with bling, and in place of gold:  porn.

Okay, how the hell did I end up there?

Intuhnet, sexy succubus of soul & spirit, you marvelously vast wasteland of sin and greed, endless source of ennui and LMAO animated gif, Al Gore’s evil devil child: I rebuke thee!

Back to the mere mortal vituals iPhotoed and inhaled ahora. And so it is with the beaming pride of a rival sibling – as in ‘take this and shove it in your pie hole taco trucks – you may be all way more mister popular and shit but those Korean tacos you sling aren’t fit for dogs as food or with dog filing.’ I’ve sampled Korean tacos far and wide (DC, Az, Chicago) and remained somewhat miffed and gyped. Reminds me of that failed metal/rap wreck: ‘Judgment Night‘. Tacos in the Mexican style and Koren BBQ pretty much make for eating perfection. Mira:

Confession junction: I know full well Korean tacos – which for the sake of hybridization and cultural insensitivity I shall refer to as MexiKim food from here on out – my lesser twin, fell from the womb into the Twitterverse o’ Southern California. Having never eaten MexiKim in the land of its origin, I ‘spose the jury is still hanging out. And hung it shall remain para me. My feelings about visiting Southern California aren’t far from those expressed by acrid poet Philip Larkin when asked ‘Would you ever visit the Orient?’ PL: ‘Only if I can leave the same day.’

So let us leave California to the guy from The X-files,, the poetry to Jon Wayne & my usual rootless blog piffle to the rest of the Intenet until Kingdom Come for the only MexiKim taco that matters, the reason I called y’all to gather aqui ahora:

 

El Mexi-Kim Dog Taco

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While I you may begin to wonder – because of the perponderance of Trader Joe’s products featured here – if I am not indeed Trader Joe himself. Alas, no estoy. (Y si, the irony that TJ’s has it’s origins in SoCal is not lost on mi.)

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  1. Grilled beyond recognition at high heat TJ’s Korean-style Street Sausages
  2. Homemade jalenpeno/brocholili/mayo slaw – mix & add ingredients until slightly sloshy.
  3. Canned cooked hominy, drained
  4. Storemade guacamole and/or avacado slices
  5. Corn tortillas

You could do a lot worse than cueing up this pearl as the grill pre-heats: