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Painting the Joy of Cooking Brown con AzChiNMexi Mac y Cheese

2 Apr

If there is a more all-encompassing gring@ cookbook I dunno it. The revised version of The Joy of Cooking is that of which I blog, not mine. The pre-PC original – on the otro mano – could at least pass for aboriginal. Recipes for vermin, including skinning instructions – IMO – transcend borders and ethnicity.

DRVDW

Yet like every other cultural icon worth it’s weight in insensitivity – The J o’ C got censored/edited by the PC Orwell wannabes in the PC 80s/90s. (Exception: Speedy Gonzales.) Thank god the copy I inherited escaped a Fahrenheit 451 ending, though the dust jacket lost to a gravy spill and and several fingers of bourbon on the counter of Southeners who may or may not have had slaves in the family were absorbed into its pages and spine.

 

 

So no, this copy’s geneology is anything but PC or artery-friendly. Yet, again, I knew I had to blow the cobwebs off Ye Olde JoC for some non dot.com direction with the culinary kindling left in la casa of late. Being stranded aqui (esposa y dos los ninos viaje en FLA) during Chicago’s final four March Madness Blizzards stirred up a hankering for a casserole as warm and hearty as a sweater mi imagniary abuela might have knitted you, between slurps of beaver tail soup.

 

Fresh out of squirrel and ammo, I deferred to a pollo chi-chis, marinated and grilled, tossed in the obligatory sack ‘o NM chile verde, and got slightly carried away with the Mexican oregano to give an otherwise high gring@ dish some much needed color. The latter resuced the dish when any one of the main ingredients went missing, curiously rounding out each bite should a chicken chunk or green chile slip off the spoon.

 

Mi Imaginary Abeula’s Big Ol’ Feliz Casserole alias

Painting the Joy of Cooking Brown

alias

El Mac y Cheese y NM Green y Pollo Sweater

 

 

 

Follow the instructions from Pre-PC J o C aqui

 


AZ/NM/Mexify con:

Pollo asado chunks (recipe is your call)

NM Chile Verde

Stir into the milk/egg “batter”

1 tsp Mexican oregano y 1 tsp NM red chile powder

Quatro queso Italiano blend + parmesean

Sprinkled topping: NM red chile powder/crunched up Donkey yellow corn tortilla chips.

Not Totally Orignial* El Sangre de Vida Picante Sauce (Kojack var.**)

31 Jan

What makes Mexican food Mexican?

can-stock-photo_csp15608359

Mexicans?

why-do-mexicans-364x327

Kojak?

1975

Where that that it estar, cuz Mexican food is all we eat when we eat out. From Mickey D’s on up the foodie chain. As much as The Food Networks try and present otherwise (oh do I so pray for the premiere of Meso-America’s top chef: ‘Tonight’s ingredient: the human heart.”) the novicest CSI gets that what’s plated before them eating out hecho by Mexciano bro/bra. And if you pensar about it, most your produce and meat and packaged goods pass though brown manos. Ergo mi amigos….

The point estando? My guess is that top five answers to our query might prove to be considerably more short-sighted than the previous paragraph’s pontification proposition.

For the love of Richard Dawson, we aqui @ IFAG posed this question of ‘What makes Mexican food Mexican?’ to the #Joneses.

richarddawsonfeud

‘What makes Mexican food Mexican?’

Survey sez:

  1. Chips & Salsa
  2. Taco Bell
  3. Rick Bayless
  4. Tortillas (pronounced : Tor till uhz)
  5. Margaritas

In all fairness to the googles, survey monkeys and Family Feud who contributed to the findings presented aqui, I’ll agree to disagree. As always yo estoy aqui to inform, confirm and condemn, confuse. Mira, this ain’t no trick question, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no foolin’ around. At the corazon of all listed foods Mexican – except Rick Bayless –  runs a common stream – mi número uno answer-deep, red and vital: blood.

Blood-Drop

Call me a broken record, a scratched CDDDDDDDDDDD, a glitched MP3, a dementia patient a dementia patient, a dementia patient for repeating mi self but this bares (or is it bears? – chingada!) repeating: Sangre es El Santa del comida Mexicana perfecto. El proof esta en the blood pudding.

Y yo estoy here to blog you brothers and sisters I inexplicably avoided opening myself up to risk death by epic coconeria failure – and knife blade – for nigh nearly a half century until only last week when at first try yo long last divined a batch of this sacred, holy, and profane comida Mexicana lifeforce.

Of course I’m a chief rocking a mad metaphor here but you try and travel through Mexico without either A.) Bleeding  or B.) Noticing much of Mexico’s history esta escribir en Sangre (the bloody revolutions, the bloody conquistadors, Los Indios blood sacrifices, Narco blood sacrifices, the bloody bullfights, bloody Christo (of the cross, not Central Park).

Blood-Facts-of-Mexico

You no snap a selfie with any of this? Try leaving Club Med next time.

On the literal tip, para me, que gives comida Mexico its vida, its cojones, its ability to resurrect the sorriest slab o carne, the stalest nacho, make Taco Bell not suck? Sangre aka el sauce picante. Not salsa, gracias very mucho. Yo hablando hot sauce. No fucking cumin, no tomatoes, no cute labels or names or commercials. El deal real.

Sure, you’ve got your Chollas y Valentinas y Buffalos y Pico Paca y others I forget even the closest spelling of, all  welcome additions to comidas tipica and especially hot dogs. (I blog not of the obnoxious “Hotter than _________” and/or “Hot Coal Colonic” variety favored by diners more concerned with the grade of their toilet paper than the quality of their meals aqui.)  But, and this is a big but – but not one en fuego por que picante – once you divine a batch of your own making, starting with this here recipe of course, you too shall uncover several picante milagros of your own making.  En mi cocina por ejemplo, a soggy, salty batch of black beans were transmutated by this blood  into the “Best thing you’ve ever cooked for me” – Mi Esposa. (Sangre + NM red enchilada sauce + dried/cooked frjoes negros con Goya adobo seasoning = Amor).

‘nuff of this blogging…onto the bloody manna

photo 3

Not Totally Orignial* El Sangre de Vida Picante Sauce (Kojack var.**)


The Batch Size

1 ¼ cup = avg hot sauce bottle (dump whatever’s been clotting in the fridge, on the counter, etc and wash out bottle and scrape off gluey label; FYI most old hot sauces serve as an excellent de-gluer; viva repurposing!)

The Contents

The dry/smoked whole chile peppers (usually on a rack in produce or ethnic foods in clear plastic bags. I grabbed one of each not knowing what to expect. Siri no hablo espanol so no checking with that fickle gringa puta.)

 

1 – Mulato

2 – Pulla

2 – Japones

1 – Arbol

photo 1

1 clove of minced/smushed garlic

tsp vinegar

pinch of Mexican oregano

No fucking cumin

1 ¼ cups water

salt to taste

The Directions

  1. Seed and stem peppers (I did this under running cold water. sorta works)
  2. Skillet roast at medio heat 5 minutes or so

(you’ll smell when they’re ready – more on this later)

  1. Transfer bowl, cover with water. Cover bowl
  2. Soak peppers for an episode of your favorite cop show (60 minutes)

(*Not totally original. Google served as sous chef. Searched her for: “Mexican” “Taco” “Sauce” “Hot” “Salsa” “No fucking cumin”.)

(**Kojack, Hunter, Rockford, just no fucking CSI)


Kojaktelly

One episode of Kojack later:

  1. Chop up but do not skin or scrape the Molado pepper (the skin serves as a mighty thickener)
  2. Filet open other peppers and scrape out the meat (takes some practice and getting the angle of the blade right. What’s nice about hot sauce is that because you really should not take all the heat these peppers bring en todo, by just “scraping by” what you can measures out perfecto – at least for me it did first time out – more on that lado.)
  3. Toss in food processor*** with garlic, oregano, and pepper water
  4. Process to fluidity (escuchando en mas importante)
  5. Gradually salt to taste; taste vehicles include but are not limited to fingers, spoons, tortilla chips, tortillas heated on pepper griddle or open gas stove flame.

(***Mas Importante Note: use either a spare mini food processer you don’t mind staining or once stained, don’t mind reminding your esposa (regularly) pepper heat does not transfer from the blade stem to your 6 month old’s applesauce, you hope, and even if it does, “the ancient Aztecs applied chili pepper paste to newborns whilst teething provinding both a soothing numbness and arousing a warrior-like spiritedness in the form of a blood-curdling wail [it all comes back to blood, verdad]. Seriously, see for yourself honey, it’s the Internet, right here on my blog = true!”)

photo 2

How flipping milagrolous did this turn out? I polished off a bottle in 5 days**** – with the help of my wife and some creative additions to our regularly scheduled menu.

(****Any keeper of picante sauce will recognize how rare this use in excess. The average shelf-life of hot sauces is 7 years.)

photo 4

..and shot for a miracle, nesting the bottle in our dying Xmas Cactus (llama Frida) to see if we might get her to bloom.

Results: La Milagra, baby….


photo (34)

What’s my secret? No fucking cumin, no fucking CSI, y mucho mucho mucho Kojack.